dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
