Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
