So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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