Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
