I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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