Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My balls are so social today.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
