So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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