I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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