The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Never let your siblings swipe right.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
