Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
