So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it hurts more in the daytime
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
