nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
