Can i not drive my cunt home
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
