just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
porn star boner night. come get it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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