I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
