If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
