1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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