If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
