Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
