i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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