Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
