i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
