he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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