Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
