How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
