We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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