My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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