He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just found a bag of teeth...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I am one with the molecules
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
