I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
