The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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