I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
