I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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