Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
