Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
