Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
