Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
