Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
