You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
