No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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