It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
