Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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