your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
