wake up i wanna do it froggy style
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
