She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
