If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
