are you so shy because you have an std?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
