hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
