I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
