I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
