i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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