You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
