dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
