Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
