DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
