new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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